Liisa Arponen (writer), Tytti Luuri, Jenni Matilainen and Anniina Tan
Have you ever noticed the way children deal with differences? How they observe, name and group items? According to our group members’ views and experiences, children have a quite natural and straightforward way of categorizing things. In their minds, the world consists of adults and children, the ones who like to play with cars and the ones who prefer playing with dolls, taller persons and shorter persons, boys and girls. The difference compared to adults seems to be that children observe, name and group things according to what they see and “as it is”, without any prejudice or added value linked to their definitions. Children do not value different issues to be good or bad, better or worse, they just “are”. When a Finnish boy Konsta (5 yrs) called a Muslim woman in a grocery store as “Darth Vader” it was a neutral observation instead of being an insult that would have been meant to harm anyone.
In the article called “Using racial and ethnic concepts: the critical case of very young children” (1996) and written by Van Ausdale & Feagin, one of the conclusions made by the writers was that already as young as 3 years old children do display racial prejudices and that race is a salient definer of their social reality. There is nothing outstandingly surprising in this conclusion but the interesting question is where do these prejudices come from? At which point a neutral “She is black” definition turns into an abusive or even racist “She is black” stigma? Would it be possible that it is you and I, adults around that have these kinds of prejudices and not the children? Is it us, who feel shamed, guilty, bothered or embarrassed when our child shouts “Santa!” when he meets a man with a long white beard.
Although unconsciously, it is we who teach our children that it is not polite to call somebody to be “black” or “brown” or “sizeable” or “midget” – not to mention calling somebody as Darth Vader or Santa Claus. We are the ones teaching our children that there is something wrong to call somebody a black person, because if it weren’t then why would that word be forbidden…? We venture to suggest that words like “black” or “midget” or “large” are totally neutral for children until they are taught that they are not. We do this in many different and usually unconscious and hidden ways e.g. by silencing, hushing or scolding our children.
In our group we have been wondering what would happen if we consciously started to talk more frankly about issues around us? Use words without stigmatizing them and talk about different things and incidents without any pointless or unnecessary prefix, labels or categorizations. What if we just talked frankly, discuss things just as they are?
Frankly, dear colleagues, we could give it a try.