Recently I’ve had problems with my English course. I’m so afraid and extremely nervous with the course. I’m not sure what to do: there is presentation coming and I haven’t yet read my independent book through, I’m not sure what to put to my essay or am I writing about article which I’ve found or can I write about my book.

The problem is I don’t exactly know why I’m so afraid, I trust I’m capable of speaking and writing English quite properly at least with some help and preparation. Still I’m thinking about the course all the time and feeling very very nervous about it even when I’m trying to do my Estonian homeworks or to read short stories to literary course. I’ve had fun at the English course but about three last times I’ve not been myself: words don’t come out properly, writing is hard I don’t remember the words even as much as usually.

At home I feel bad if I’m not reading stuff for English course but to the becoming exam and other way round, even when the book for exam is also in English. I watch much videos and series in English and think about it how I’ve developed (but accidentally don’t write about it to my blog…), but it just feels those things doesn’t some way matter.

So, at the moment this all feels quite bad. Must find a way to make also this course my cup of tea!

P.S. I think I wasn’t quite clever when I didn’t do this course a year ago when I would have read same materials to my BA-stuff vs. now when I study mostly literature instead of conversation analysis (which I found as my field but not the main point this semester).